"Oh, perfect timing," he
heard Kai say. "He's just waking up."
Xander opened his eyes to the dim
glow of twilight in the guest room.
Kai's head and shoulders were silhouetted against the pale cornflower of
the sky through the sheer curtains, and the yellow light from the hallway
fixtures spilled in the open door as Ling entered the room. He instinctively checked the covers and,
satisfied that he was completely covered, maneuvered himself into a seated
position. "What time is it?"
"About 4:30," Ling
answered. She sat down on the edge of
the bed and placed the steaming mug she was holding onto the night stand beside
him. "How are you feeling,
Xander?"
"Umm, okay, I guess..."
His voice trailed off as his stomach gurgled, but the usual flood of shame that
would overwhelm him in situations like these was miraculously only a trickle.
"Hungry," Kai supplied.
"That's good!" Ling
exclaimed. "We're ordering pizza
for dinner since the Argyrises are still here. I know we just had it, but no
one wants to cook. What do you like on
your pizza?"
"Anything is fine. Whatever everyone else wants."
Ling smiled at him, giving her head
a little shake. "Sure, anything
might be fine, but what's your favorite?
I was just going to get you your own pie."
That was too much. "No, you don't - I don't n-need -" he
rushed the words out, as if their speed would somehow lessen his embarrassment.
She took his hand in both of her
own. "Xander. Shush.
We get free pies from Vito's: we cleared out a Trilk infestation they
had last year. If a week goes by when we
don't order, he calls and asks why and starts thanking us again. It's embarrassing. So what are your favorite pizza
toppings?"
A quiet sigh left him before he
answered. "Garlic, spinach, and
extra cheese."
"Thank you." Ling patted his hand before she rose from the
bed. "You're sharing the veggie pie
with your mom and Cee?" she asked Kai.
"As usual," he
replied. "Cee's up and
around?"
"Yup," Ling said. "Almost back to normal." Her eyes flicked towards Xander, and he knew
without knowing how that Cee hadn't asked about him.
Kai nodded, his shoulders relaxing
just a bit. "Good."
"I'll go call the order
in. Xander, wait about fifteen minutes
for that to cool and then drink up, okay?
I think I timed it pretty well: the pizza usually only takes about
twenty minutes, so it should get here not long after you finish it, about when
you'll probably start getting hungrier."
"How many more doses will I
need?" Not that you should be drinking it anyway, you
whale, if it's going to make you eat again, the nasty voice
piped up.
Ling tapped her pursed lips with a
delicate finger. "At least two
more. Probably three, just to be
safe. It's a multifaceted blend, so it's
quite a bit more complex than what I made for you before."
"And there's a lot it has to
work on, so try to be patient," Kai interjected.
"What do you mean?"
"I'll let you explain,
Kai. I'm going to go order the
pizza. Remember, Xander, fifteen
minutes." She left the bedroom,
closing the door softly and taking the golden light from the hallway with her.
Cee's brother leaned over and
switched on the bedside lamp, and Xander caught a glimpse of his own reflection
in the mirror above the dresser in the soft light. "Whoa," he murmured. His eyes stared mournfully back at him,
framed by deep, bruise-like crescents, and his skin, normally pale, was tinged
ashen and ghastly. "I look like
moldy shit."
"You're actually starting to
look a little better," Kai told him.
"Some of the life is starting to come back to your eyes. Why did you do this in the first place?"
Xander pretended he hadn't asked
that question. "So what's the deal
with this stuff?" He tilted his
head in the direction of the still-steaming mug beside him.
Kai propped his legs up on the
mattress before answering. "There
are some illnesses or afflictions that are strictly physical. Some are strictly emotional. Most are a combination of your physical
being, your emotional being, and sometimes your spiritual self. What you've been going through started as
emotional - the appetite suppressant tea messed with your feelings and thoughts
- and was then exacerbated by spiritual issues, which have been bothering you
for a while, I think, but were really blown up by the work demon kind has been
doing on you, and...other things. Family
stuff? Love troubles? I'm not exactly sure."
He felt the familiar reverberation
in the empty place where his heart used to be, but remained silent.
"All that combined and
escalated to the point where your symptoms became physical: the dizziness, the
vision problems, aversion to food, etcetera.
So," he continued, nodding at the mug, "the remedy has to work
on all of that. It starts by helping the
physical symptoms, because they're usually the most dangerous. I imagine you're feeling a whole lot better
physically than you were, right?"
"Yeah."
"Maybe a little bit better
emotionally?"
Xander let out a quiet huff of
laughter. "I'm not in imminent
danger of leaping off a cliff, if that's what you mean."
Kai grinned. "I'll take it. It should continue to help with that, kind of
get you back to a better place."
"What exactly do you mean
by...spiritual stuff?"
"The longstanding beliefs you
have about yourself and your place in everything. Whereas your emotions are the expression of
those beliefs in your thoughts and feelings."
Xander became very still.
"The remedy unfortunately can't
fix the spiritual - nothing we can make can do that - but it can usually quiet
the emotional noise that shouts over them enough to help you deal with them on
your own."
A few silent moments passed before
Xander spoke. "Well that sounds
like fun." He sighed, suddenly very
aware of how heavy and soft his belly felt resting on his thighs.
"Talking about it sometimes
helps."
He scoffed. "I'm not much of a fan of therapy."
Kai laughed. "I'm not a shrink yet."
"I don't really...know
you."
"We should change that. I'd like to get to know you. My sister thinks you're worth knowing, and
we're going to be spending a lot more time together."
Xander didn't respond.
"You should probably drink that
now," Kai said, gesturing to the mug.
Xander complied, gulping the hot, gingery liquid all down at once as he
had before, but this time having to fight the urge to rub his belly contentedly
as a delicious warmth spread out from his stomach to the tips of his toes. "So," Kai said, "what do you
think of Darshan?"
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